Showing posts with label umar. Show all posts
Showing posts with label umar. Show all posts

Sunday, May 12, 2013

CLEA LOVES SEX: A MOTHER’s DAY ENTRY
- UMAR LOVES SEX: M.I.L.F. SPECIAL EDITION


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Over the years we’ve examined several instances of how Clea; Doctor Strange’s other-dimensional lover, has shown her deep appreciation for… er… being appreciated - deeply.

A being born in the Dark Dimension, a realm where physical laws hardly apply, and raised alone by a harsh, disciplinary father, it isn’t likely that Clea had any physical relations before Dr. Strange entered her realm, her life, and... her.

So, where does this predilection for conjuring forth the “Mindless-One-with-two-backs” originate? Well, it can’t be stated for certain, but it would seem that Clea’s lust for more amour was passed down by her mother, Umar (sister of Dormammu).

In fact, it will probably give new meaning to the phrase that heralded her introduction:
"ENTER UMAR!"



Most readers are aware of Umar as a mystic threat that Doctor Strange has had to contend with on several occasions. But this is made into even more of a sticky situation since Strange and Clea were married (via mystic ring(s)) thus making Umar a true M.I.L.F. *
*Mother-In-Law Faltinian… why? What were YOU thinking it meant?

Umar and Dormammu are Faltinians, beings made of mystical fire. They had no physical forms whatsoever, and in fact, as a race, Faltinians have a basic loathing for the physical realm.
It was the siblings desire to seek out a more physical existence and desire for power that led to their being cast out of their native dimension. It was then that they found and usurped the rule of the dimension that would from then on be known as “Dark”. Still, while Dormammu quickly took the throne, Umar discovered the bed.


While within a physical form, it didn’t take long before Umar’s form craved some “physical” (- like Olivia Newton-John). In fact, it was her coupling with Dormammu’s right-hand man, Orini, that led to the birth of Clea.
Originally, Umar was disgusted by the child and the act that created her. For years thereafter she did all she could to eliminate the memory of sex (and her child) from her mind.

However, like an itch that craves to be scratched, she could ignore the urges for only so long before she had to satisfy them.

Umar has always visually presented herself as a vamp, a siren, a Gothic beauty, all while trying to remain above her base desires. Yet, how like many Earth M.I.L.F.s (yeah, this time it means exactly what you think) Umar soon found herself somewhat attracted to the man her daughter loved. (Bow-chica-wow-wow)



In truth, Umar never showed anything more than a passing admiration for the earthling who bested her brother, but that helped sow the seeds for Umar’s wish for others to sow wild oats – in her. (This is where the obligatory “plow” and “hoe” jokes would naturally go. Feel free to make them in the comments section.)

Still, she knew that the plan of attack against Strange was to use feminine ways (y'know... treachery and guile).



As such, while in conflict with Umar, did Dr. Strange confess of her “velvety” nature...



...while she engages in some dirty talk of “thrusts” and “counter-thrusts” that get her excited enough to give her an “O-face”.



However, since Umar is a bad-girl (a very bad girl), obviously, she would have no real interest in the goody-goody nature of a hero such as Stephen Strange, so why not look for one like him, but… bad?

Of course, in the "What If?" realities, Umar DID find someone like an evil Stephen Strange... STEPHEN STRANGE - Disciple of Dormammu!


After he sets her free, she shows just how "free" she can be.




Free.... and easy. And extremely "close" with her "beloved"' brother.



It would seem that she truly had a thing going with this alternate Dr. Strange. She felt that when he was bad, he was very very good.


However, this sorcerous sexcapade with Strange was only an alternate-universe lifestyle.

So, in the "616" proper, when looking for someone like an evil Dr. Strange, Umar hooked up with Baron Mordo, natch!

"...she's been alone a VERY long time."

Linking their powers, their hate for Strange and their need for “strange”, the dirty duo forged a union (in every conceivable way) to rule the Dark Dimension (is that what the kids were calling in it in the 1990’s?).

Unfortunately, Dormammu came and like a typical jerk brother, ruined the whole thing by seemingly destroying Mordo and absorbing his and Umar’s essence unto himself (a truly taboo three-way).

But, when later they were separated, it became known just how… close the siblings had been. (Hint: VERY. Taboo, indeed!)



At the very least, she seems to enjoy the indulgence of having her physical form pampered and preened by peons.



Still, it seems, when she was in “need” and there were no other resources available, she’d abduct lovers from other dimensions, and then turn them into 3-headed lizards or stalks of broccoli when she was finished with them.



 (A good thing for WONG that she never followed through on her desirous urge with him.)



Later, while using her wiles to trick her brother into dooming himself in the age-old dance of seeking power, Umar would occupy her time with another form of dance – the “horizontal bop”.
But whom could a supremely powerful, ageless, tireless mystic mistress have as a consort whom she couldn’t incinerate (either by magic or mere friction)? It would have to be someone INCREDIBLE…


Unfortunately, as is often the case, when a man hasn’t had sex in a long while, the initial encounter can be… brief. So… Hulk no smash.


Still, it couldn’t have been all that bad, since Umar kept trying to get the Hulk to return to her.


However, when the time presented itself for a “second date” Umar rolled out the red carpet (er… tongue) to give the Hulk another go.


And like the “Energizer Bunny”, Hulk just kept going…and going… and going…



Still, we should end this here, before we veer too far into content that goes beyond PG (or even PG-13) territory – like what that thing is that Umar does with her toes.



Uh… I think we're done here. It’s probably better that we don’t hear the rest of that.


I said... we're done here!

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And so we taske our leave with the knowledge that...
much like CLEA... UMAR LOVES SEX!



This post is the EIGHTH in a series of entries  - previous input in this series can be found at these links:
and don't forget the "Special Edition Limerick"  Addendum - [HERE]

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

HOUSING CRISIS :
SANCTUS INTERRUPTUS
Part II - Welcome to the Neighborhood:
Strange (Tales) Days Indeed

*Part I in this series: here*

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Welcome, and enter freely the Sanctum Sanctorum!

No need to wipe your feet before you come in, since we'll be going over the many times the building has been destroyed over the years.

Wong won't care about footprints so much as the I-beams and broken glass falling all around.

For those of you coming in late, as I mentioned in yesterday's post, this is to be a series showcasing the MANY times over the history of the building that the Sanctum Sanctorum (in it's many forms) has been destroyed, raised back up and destroyed again (time after time after time).

"Surely"; you're now thinking, "I can't recall the Sanctum being decimated more than once before. Isn't this new situation with the "Starbucks" one of the first such times this has happened?".
Well, friends, it might be hard to recall, but my facts show that the Sanctum (in any number of it's forms) has been demolished
well over 9 TIMES !
That doesn't include multiple trashings, infiltrations, sigil-window breakage or varied stymied attempts at it's destruction. However, it DOES take into account at least TWO (of the many) times that the Earth was wiped out - "in toto" - only to be reconstructed as it was.

(Now, it might even have been destroyed MORE times than that, but I'm just going by Doc's own series'. If it happened in a different series, like the DEFENDERS or something, I'm not including it here.)


Of course, we will also go over a few of those aforementioned near-ruinations from his series', just for flavor and context.

Let's begin at the beginning, shall we?

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This is a fairly well-known sequence that shows the origins of the building itself.
When purchasing the building, Strange finds that it has a sordid history, including being built on an Native "American" Indian ritual and burial site, and that any structure that is erected on this spot is razed; usually by fire.

ALL images in this post can be *clicked* to be enlarged.



Doctor Strange: Master of the Mystic Arts # 56.
Story by Roger Stern, Art by Paul Smith and Terry Austin

While not actually from issues of Strange Tales (vol 1),
this sequence takes place in that series' time-frame in continuity.
(Uh oh. The "C"-word.)

*UPDATE*
In a direct follow-up to the sequence of events shown in that issue, Roger Stern teamed with artists Neil Vokes & Jay Geldof to portray Doc's actual purchase of the house and his first night spent therein.
The issue of which I speak being a one-shot special: DOCTOR STRANGE: From The Vault # 1.
In it, it is explained that the site has had 6 previous edifices built and that this is the 7th (a magic number).

 
 
DOCTOR STRANGE: FROM THE VAULT # 1
Roger Stern (writer), Neil Vokes (pencils), Jay Geldof (inks)

---END UPDATE---


Still, it's the perfect spot to perform his mojo and the Sanctum Sanctorum is built.

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The first time that the Sanctum is shown to be in peril is in Strange Tales # 117.
Mordo creates a replica (voodoo fetish) of the Sanctum Sanctorum and casts a sympathetic spell upon it. He then sets the spell into the world where it affects and merges with the real Sanctum. The spell is as such wherein once Doctor Strange has stepped within the domicile, it will vanish from this world. Forever.



Strange is able to travel along dimensional corridors back to Earth where he tricks his foe and overpowers him, thusly releasing the spell upon the Sanctum.

Pages from Strange Tales (vol 1) # 117.
Stan Lee (script) / Steve Ditko (plot and artwork)

While not damaged, the Sanctum was removed from this realm and as such is a borderline case of "destruction", and as such, not counted as "official" for the purposes of this blog.
Still... it's darn close.

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When next we see the Sanctum threatened is in Strange Tales # 141 & 142, where Mordo's minions - led by Demonicus "The Demon" - have placed a mundane explosive device inside one of the braziers and plan to detonate it while Strange is in his chambers.


Sequence from Strange Tales vol 1 - # 141 - 142.
A Stan Lee / Steve Ditko joint.

This incident is important for a few reasons. While Dr. Strange DID indeed discover the incendiary device before it went off, it did show two very important things:

1) At this time, Strange had not yet cast any special wards to keep unwanted intruders out of the Sanctum. In fact, in those early Strange Tales issues, the Sanctum was invaded quite a few times, by mystics and robbers alike. Future break-ins would more than likely cause major house damage.

2) In his haste to dispose of the bomb (at least no nuns or ducks barred his way) Strange breaks through his sigil-window. The first such instance of that transpiring (and by far not the last).

However, the Sanctum was NOT destroyed and as such, doesn't count in this blog series.

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This NEXT situation DOES!
Strange Tales # 149 saw a pitched war between the forces of light (Doc & the Ancient One) and those of darkness (Kaluu - the Ancient One's own past menace) and while Strange and his Master are hiding out and attempting to find a way to defeat him, Kaluu unleashes a spell that decimated the Sanctum, totally trashing it (if not without - although it sure looks like he caused some structural damage - , then most definitely WITHIN).

To take care of this wreckage, Doctor Strange needs no earthly workmen!


Sequence from Strange Tales (vol 1) # 149 & 151.
Written by Dennis O'Neil. Art by Bill Everett.

A wave of the hand and voila! Instant "Home Makeover" and as a bonus, he conjures forth all the cash he might need to pay off nosy house inspectors.
(One of the early missteps in the characterization of the Master Mystic. It was an early trope that ALL Marvel characters had to have money troubles or something. This wasn't the first time finances was brought up, however, it was nearly the last time for well over 20 years.)

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Don't think that the Sanctum was safe for long.
FOUR issues later, we see the invasion of the Earth by UMAR the Unrelenting (Sister to Dormammu & Mother of Clea), who cast a devastating blast against the Sanctum, completely leveling it!
SKRAKKK!

Not to let that be the end of it, she also blasts a path straight through the PLANET to get to Strange's mentor!

(Wow. Now THAT is overkill. What a bitch.)

It takes another 3 issues before Strange has time to return home, but all he finds is a sanctum-sized crater.


Luckily, this time he's able to fix the situation (without Bob Vila anywhere in sight) by reversing her spell, upon which she neglected to put her finishing seal.

Entire sequence of events from Strange Tales (vol 1) # 156 & 159.
Story by Roy Thomas. Art by Marie Severin.


Quickly flying inside, he checks on the status of the Earth's peril via the Orb of Agamotto (although, back then, it was more of a mystic globe and less of a crystal ball).

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However, we'll find out tomorrow, that he might have more IMMEDIATE concerns.

Chief among them being, as the Orb will show...
that all might not be what it seems... and home safety - just is not a reality!



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Series Continues - here in:
HOUSING CRISIS : SANCTUS INTERRUPTUS
- Part III - The Shadows on the Wall
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