Sunday, May 12, 2013



Over the years we’ve examined several instances of how Clea; Doctor Strange’s other-dimensional lover, has shown her deep appreciation for… er… being appreciated - deeply.

A being born in the Dark Dimension, a realm where physical laws hardly apply, and raised alone by a harsh, disciplinary father, it isn’t likely that Clea had any physical relations before Dr. Strange entered her realm, her life, and... her.

So, where does this predilection for conjuring forth the “Mindless-One-with-two-backs” originate? Well, it can’t be stated for certain, but it would seem that Clea’s lust for more amour was passed down by her mother, Umar (sister of Dormammu).

In fact, it will probably give new meaning to the phrase that heralded her introduction:

Most readers are aware of Umar as a mystic threat that Doctor Strange has had to contend with on several occasions. But this is made into even more of a sticky situation since Strange and Clea were married (via mystic ring(s)) thus making Umar a true M.I.L.F. *
*Mother-In-Law Faltinian… why? What were YOU thinking it meant?

Umar and Dormammu are Faltinians, beings made of mystical fire. They had no physical forms whatsoever, and in fact, as a race, Faltinians have a basic loathing for the physical realm.
It was the siblings desire to seek out a more physical existence and desire for power that led to their being cast out of their native dimension. It was then that they found and usurped the rule of the dimension that would from then on be known as “Dark”. Still, while Dormammu quickly took the throne, Umar discovered the bed.

While within a physical form, it didn’t take long before Umar’s form craved some “physical” (- like Olivia Newton-John). In fact, it was her coupling with Dormammu’s right-hand man, Orini, that led to the birth of Clea.
Originally, Umar was disgusted by the child and the act that created her. For years thereafter she did all she could to eliminate the memory of sex (and her child) from her mind.

However, like an itch that craves to be scratched, she could ignore the urges for only so long before she had to satisfy them.

Umar has always visually presented herself as a vamp, a siren, a Gothic beauty, all while trying to remain above her base desires. Yet, how like many Earth M.I.L.F.s (yeah, this time it means exactly what you think) Umar soon found herself somewhat attracted to the man her daughter loved. (Bow-chica-wow-wow)

In truth, Umar never showed anything more than a passing admiration for the earthling who bested her brother, but that helped sow the seeds for Umar’s wish for others to sow wild oats – in her. (This is where the obligatory “plow” and “hoe” jokes would naturally go. Feel free to make them in the comments section.)

Still, she knew that the plan of attack against Strange was to use feminine ways (y'know... treachery and guile).

As such, while in conflict with Umar, did Dr. Strange confess of her “velvety” nature...

...while she engages in some dirty talk of “thrusts” and “counter-thrusts” that get her excited enough to give her an “O-face”.

However, since Umar is a bad-girl (a very bad girl), obviously, she would have no real interest in the goody-goody nature of a hero such as Stephen Strange, so why not look for one like him, but… bad?

Of course, in the "What If?" realities, Umar DID find someone like an evil Stephen Strange... STEPHEN STRANGE - Disciple of Dormammu!

After he sets her free, she shows just how "free" she can be.

Free.... and easy. And extremely "close" with her "beloved"' brother.

It would seem that she truly had a thing going with this alternate Dr. Strange. She felt that when he was bad, he was very very good.

However, this sorcerous sexcapade with Strange was only an alternate-universe lifestyle.

So, in the "616" proper, when looking for someone like an evil Dr. Strange, Umar hooked up with Baron Mordo, natch!

"...she's been alone a VERY long time."

Linking their powers, their hate for Strange and their need for “strange”, the dirty duo forged a union (in every conceivable way) to rule the Dark Dimension (is that what the kids were calling in it in the 1990’s?).

Unfortunately, Dormammu came and like a typical jerk brother, ruined the whole thing by seemingly destroying Mordo and absorbing his and Umar’s essence unto himself (a truly taboo three-way).

But, when later they were separated, it became known just how… close the siblings had been. (Hint: VERY. Taboo, indeed!)

At the very least, she seems to enjoy the indulgence of having her physical form pampered and preened by peons.

Still, it seems, when she was in “need” and there were no other resources available, she’d abduct lovers from other dimensions, and then turn them into 3-headed lizards or stalks of broccoli when she was finished with them.

 (A good thing for WONG that she never followed through on her desirous urge with him.)

Later, while using her wiles to trick her brother into dooming himself in the age-old dance of seeking power, Umar would occupy her time with another form of dance – the “horizontal bop”.
But whom could a supremely powerful, ageless, tireless mystic mistress have as a consort whom she couldn’t incinerate (either by magic or mere friction)? It would have to be someone INCREDIBLE…

Unfortunately, as is often the case, when a man hasn’t had sex in a long while, the initial encounter can be… brief. So… Hulk no smash.

Still, it couldn’t have been all that bad, since Umar kept trying to get the Hulk to return to her.

However, when the time presented itself for a “second date” Umar rolled out the red carpet (er… tongue) to give the Hulk another go.

And like the “Energizer Bunny”, Hulk just kept going…and going… and going…

Still, we should end this here, before we veer too far into content that goes beyond PG (or even PG-13) territory – like what that thing is that Umar does with her toes.

Uh… I think we're done here. It’s probably better that we don’t hear the rest of that.

I said... we're done here!


And so we taske our leave with the knowledge that...
much like CLEA... UMAR LOVES SEX!

This post is the EIGHTH in a series of entries  - previous input in this series can be found at these links:
and don't forget the "Special Edition Limerick"  Addendum - [HERE]


Glass said...

Very well done, haha.

Shlomo Ben Hungstien said...

never heard of her before but it's possible i may have seen this Umar in some clip art over the years with out knowing who she was. speaking of clip art that was some pretty nice stuff here you don't by any chance have Umar's number?

Cully said...

Great post. That Defenders limited series was such a fun read, and it was Umar/Hulk hookup that stuck in my mind. Keep up the great work.

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